When You're Not Who You Thought You'd Be
written by a member of the WCB
You've done everything right. You've got the perfect haircut, you're wearing the right clothes, and you're saying all the things you're supposed to say.
But there's something that doesn't fit—something you've tried to ignore, push down, or pray away.
It's those feelings that don't align with everything you've been taught.
Let's be honest—growing up in conservative circles, whether it's your college fraternity or church youth group, doesn't exactly prepare you for questioning your sexuality.
You're taught there's one path, one way to be a man, and anything else isn't just different—it's wrong.
But here's the truth: you aren't alone, and you don't have to figure this out by yourself.
Many guys from backgrounds just like yours have walked this path before. They've sat through the same sermons, nodded along to the same locker room talk, and felt that same disconnect between who they're supposed to be and who they actually are.
The journey of understanding yourself isn't straightforward, and it doesn't have to mean abandoning everything you value. But it does mean being honest with yourself.
If you're struggling with these feelings, there are resources specifically designed to help. The Trevor Project offers 24/7 crisis support from counselors who understand exactly what you're going through.
They won't judge you or push you in any direction—they're just there to listen and help. You can reach them at 866-488-7386 or text START to 678-678.
GLAAD also offers resources that can help you connect with others who've had similar experiences and can guide you through what might be next for you.
You don't have to choose between your background and your identity. There are communities of faith that affirm LGBTQ+ identities, and there are ways to honor the values you were raised with while still being true to yourself.
The path forward isn't about rejection—it's about integration. Finding a way to be whole.
So if you're reading this and recognizing yourself, know that you're not broken.
You're not wrong.
You're just beginning to understand a part of yourself that's been there all along.
And you don't have to walk that path alone.