Bathtime Betrayal: Tactical Assault
The Setup
Mitchell watched in horror as I made my first move. That fancy bubble bath? Straight into the toilet. No mercy.
Chemical Warfare
With surgical precision, I locked eyes with Mitchell. This wasn’t just a bath. This was psychological warfare.
Moment of Destruction
As the lavender liquid swirled into the porcelain abyss, I positioned myself. Mitchell’s eyes went wide - part confusion, part pure terror.
Then I unleashed.
A thunderous, earth-shattering fart erupted directly into his bathwater.
Mitchell’s Face: A Masterpiece of Trauma
Imagine a tiny human experiencing the five stages of grief in 2.5 seconds:
Shock
Denial
Horror
Betrayal
Absolute Surrender
His face contorted into a landscape of pure, unadulterated disbelief. Mouth slightly open. Eyes wider than dinner plates. A single tear forming at the corner of his eye.
Tactical Achievements
Bubble Bath: Eliminated
Bathwater: Contaminated
Mitchell’s Innocence: Destroyed
Psychological Warfare: Successful
Lessons Learned
Never trust your babysitter
Bathtime is a battlefield
Some memories cannot be unseen
Mic drop of pure, unfiltered destruction
Bedtime Betrayal: A Tactical Assault
Silent Preparation
Twenty minutes into what was supposed to be a peaceful night, Mitchell was finishing his baba. Calm. Collected. Plotting.
The Tactical Deployment
With military precision, he unleashed his first wave of attack:
Phase 1: The Grunt
A low, guttural sound escaped his throat. The kind of grunt that says, “Something’s about to go down.”
Phase 2: Payload Delivery
That fresh, pristine pamper? Obliterated.
Mitchell pushed out a load so epic, it was like watching a tiny human declare war on cleanliness itself. The pamper, once a symbol of pristine protection, now a war-torn landscape of pure destruction.
The Grand Finale
As if the payload wasn’t enough, he dropped the mic with a fart.
Not just any fart. This was a victory trumpet. A declaration of total domination.
Olfactory Reconnaissance
He leaned in. Sniffed his own creation.
The face of a conqueror. The pride of a warrior who just decimated everything in his path.
Tactical Achievements
Pamper: Completely Destroyed
Bedtime Illusion: Shattered
Parental Expectations: Annihilated
Lessons Learned
Never underestimate a baby’s capacity for chaos
Bedtime is a myth
Mitchell rules this kingdom
Mic drop of pure, unfiltered destruction