Success: Merciless Journey of Mediocrity

Listen closely, you barely functional specimens of potential.

Mitchell - if we can even call this a proper name for an aspiring achiever - stumbled into the library. Bright shirt? More like a beacon of false hope. Paci swinging like a sad pendulum of unrealized dreams. Pamper playing peek-a-boo - because apparently, personal development starts before basic hygiene.

There he was, attempting to absorb knowledge. How adorable.

His bro friend - clearly the only intelligent entity in this scenario - swoops in with surgical precision. Book snatched? Consider it an intervention. Leading Mitchell to a "safe place"? Safety is for the weak and unprepared.

BOOM. A strategic fart to the face. Most would see this as an assault. I see it as a performance evaluation.

Let's break down this masterclass of mediocrity:

- Unexpected book removal? Lesson in adaptability.

- Surprise wind assault? Stress testing your emotional resilience.

- Pamper peeking out? Your vulnerability is showing.

Success isn't about looking good. It's about surviving when life decides to blow its most putrid winds directly into your face. Your paci might swing. Your pamper might betray you. But your potential? That's the only thing worth salvaging.

Take notes, if you're capable of such complex motor skills. Your most humiliating moments are your only path to something resembling achievement.

Onward, you marginally promising disappointments. The world doesn't care about your comfort.