Rose Quartz Heart: Navigating Love with a Bad Boy

photo captured by royel for art by royel

Ah, the twinkling lights, the crisp air enveloping you in its embrace, and love simmering in the background like a pot of homemade mulled cider. It’s a season of magic, a time when hearts are wide open, and amidst this enchanted realm, you find yourself drawn to a boy with a reputation as glittering and complex as tinsel on a tree. He’s the archetypical bad boy, the one who’s known for leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. Yet, somehow, he slips past your radar, ticking off all the right boxes, charming you effortlessly.

But your girlfriends are playing the part of ghosts, warning you with their haunting tales. Your brothers are the wise men sending you divine signals of caution. So, how do you traverse this path of love without losing yourself? How do you choose you and still love like you’ve never been shattered?

Firstly, understand that loving doesn’t mean losing—especially not losing yourself. Don’t confuse excitement for commitment, nor passion for stability. It’s imperative that you hold true to your desires and boundaries, even if his enigmatic charm makes you want to forsake all logic. Take moments to reflect on what you truly need and deserve in a relationship, and don't let fleeting thrills cloud your judgment.

Secondly, keep your circle tight and trust their instincts. Sure, they might not see the tender moments you do, but their objectivity can act as the North Star guiding you. These friends and family members often see things from a perspective unmarred by infatuation. Listen to their concerns and weigh them against your feelings. Sometimes, love can be so intoxicating that you need a sober perspective to stay grounded. Their insights can be invaluable in navigating the turbulent waters of romance with a bad boy.

Thirdly, remember that communication is key. Have open and honest conversations with him about your needs, fears, and boundaries. If he respects you, he'll engage in these discussions and make efforts to meet you halfway. If he brushes them aside or makes you feel small for having them, it's a red flag that shouldn't be ignored. A relationship should be built on mutual respect and understanding.

Lastly, embrace the festivity of love but remember to unwrap yourself slowly. The greatest gift you can offer is your true self—whole, unblemished, and not wrapped in the desperation to be loved by someone who might not be worthy. It's vital to nurture self-love and self-respect throughout the journey. If he truly adores you, he will stand the test of time and revelation. Don’t rush into unveiling every part of your heart; let him earn your trust and affection with his actions over time.

So, with the faith of a child, believe that the right love will honor who you are and will harmonize with your spirit. Choose you, love deeply but wisely, and let your heart be light. Because the most splendid romance is the one that celebrates the beautiful complexity of you. Trust that the universe has a way of bringing the right person into your life at the right time. And until then, cherish your own company and the endless possibilities that await you.

10 Point Plan to Guarding Your Relationship with Your New Bad Boy

1. Define Your Boundaries: Clearly articulate what you're comfortable with and what you're not. Scripture teaches us in Proverbs 4:23, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

2. Maintain Independence: Keep your own interests, hobbies, and friendships alive. Philippians 2:3-4 reminds us, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."

3. Communicate Openly: Have frequent and honest discussions about your relationship. Ephesians 4:25 encourages, "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body."

4. Respect Each Other: Mutual respect is key. Show appreciation and avoid belittling each other. Romans 12:10 advises, "Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."

5. Stay Grounded: Seek advice from trusted friends and family. Proverbs 15:22 says, "Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed."

6. Manage Expectations: Be realistic about what you expect from each other. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 teaches us about love's essence: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

7. Trust Wisely: Build trust slowly and ensure it is earned through actions, not just words. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."

8. Practice Forgiveness: Forgive mistakes but also recognize unhealthy patterns. Colossians 3:13 encourages, "Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."

9. Nurture Spiritual Growth: Share your spiritual journeys and grow together in faith. Matthew 18:20 says, "For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."

10. Celebrate Love Daily: Find joy in the small moments and celebrate your love regularly. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 reminds us, "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

Worksheet for the Sisterhood

Questions to Reflect On:

1. What are my non-negotiable boundaries in a relationship?

2. How do I maintain my independence while being in a relationship?

3. Are there any recent instances where I felt I couldn't communicate openly? Why?

4. In what ways do I show respect and appreciation for my partner daily?

5. Who are the people in my life whose advice I trust most, and why?

6. What are my realistic expectations for this relationship?

7. How can I build and maintain trust in our relationship?

8. Is there anything I need to forgive my partner for, and how can I move past it?

9. How can we nurture our spiritual growth together?

10. What small moments of joy can I identify in our relationship recently?

Reflect on these questions, discuss them with your sisters, and use them as a guide to navigate the beautiful yet complex journey of loving a bad boy.

xo,

Brandy (not Melville)