First Date Commandments That Stand Firm, Even When You're Riding the Wave with a Porn Star

Hearken, brethren! We're about to delve into wisdom as profound as the depths of the sea (Psalm 107:24) about the dawn of something new - akin to when you're about to catch the most formidable wave of your life: a first date. But lo, here's the twist: we speak of securing a date with a porn star. Before you assume it's different, remember, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged" (Matthew 7:1). The same principles apply, my brothers. Let us break it down as if we're parting the waters (Exodus 14:21).

1. Keep it real, bro
   "Let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'" (Matthew 5:37). Don't attempt to be someone you're not, even if your date's profession differs vastly from yours. Be the righteous man you were created to be. Authenticity is key, for "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy" (Proverbs 12:22).

2. Respect is the cornerstone, dudes
   Treat your date as the masterpiece they are, for "God created mankind in his own image" (Genesis 1:27). Their job doesn't define them, just as your hobbies don't define you. Show them the same respect you'd give to anyone, for "Do to others as you would have them do to you" (Luke 6:31).

3. Keep it pure on the first date
   Don't expect anything wild due to their profession. First dates are about connection. "Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things" (Philippians 4:8).

4. Be all ears, bros
   Show interest in their life beyond work. Ask about their hopes and dreams, for "The purposes of a person's heart are deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out" (Proverbs 20:5). "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).

5. Don't be a creep about their job
   Curiosity is natural, but don't make the date about their career. It's uncool to pry or fanboy. Keep it classy, for "Let your conversation be always full of grace" (Colossians 4:6).

6. Be a man of your word
   Whether seeking something serious or casual, be upfront. "An honest witness tells the truth, but a false witness tells lies" (Proverbs 12:17). Speak the truth, but do it with love (Ephesians 4:15).

7. Have fun, but don't pressure
   Enjoy the moment without expectations. Pressure kills the vibe, and consent is crucial. Remember, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud" (1 Corinthians 13:4).

Remember, brothers, at the core, it's just two of God's creations getting acquainted. Whether they're a porn star, an athlete, or anyone else, the rules of respect, authenticity, and good vibes always apply. For my righteous comrades, recall that judgment isn't our role, for "There is only one Lawgiver and Judge" (James 4:12). We're all on our own paths, and "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23).

So venture forth, embodying the man you were destined to be, and who knows? You might just catch the perfect wave of romance. "Be strong and courageous" (Joshua 1:9), and ride on, brothers in faith!

-deck