Superman's Code: Lessons in Respecting Women from the Man of Steel

captured by royel for art by royel

Alright, bros and superstars, gather 'round! Today, we're diving into some legendary wisdom straight from the Man of Steel himself. Yeah, I'm talking about Superman. You know, the guy who can lift cars and fly, yet he’s got a heart that's all about truth, justice, and the ultimate respect for everyone, especially the ladies. So buckle up and let the power of Kal-El guide you. First things first, let’s tap into some New Age vibes. If you want to resonate on a higher frequency, you gotta be the change you wish to see. Superman himself lives by this. It’s not just about having monstrous biceps or a chiseled jawline; it's about being a decent human being. As Superman would say, "It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me."

1. Speak with Intent and Clarity: Superman never mumbles his words, bros. When you talk to women, do it with clear intention and respect. Ditch the slang that trivializes her presence and elevate your conversation. Tap into that throat chakra and let authenticity flow. Remember, “The greatness of any man lies in his heart.” Let yours be pure and genuine.

2. Listen Like Lois Lane: Superman always lends an ear to Lois, even when the universe is at stake. Give women your undivided attention. Resist the urge to check your phone or gaze around the room. Active listening is key. As they say in Metropolis, "The most heroic act is sometimes just to listen."

3. Energy is Everything:** New Age teachings emphasize the vibrational frequency of our energy. Spread good vibes, bros. A confident smile, a kind word, even just your calm presence—it all counts. Like Supes says, "There is a superhero in all of us; we just need the courage to put on the cape." Show your inner superhero by exuding positive energy.

4. Physical Presence with Respect: Sure, Superman's got the physique, but he never uses it to intimidate. Be aware of your body language. Stand tall but don’t crowd her space. Use an open posture to show you’re approachable. “With great power, comes great responsibility.” Treat every interaction with care.

5. Empower the Queens: Superman’s strength lies not just in his muscles but in empowering others. Recognize and celebrate the achievements and aspirations of the women around you. Step back and let them shine. “True power comes from empowering the powerless.”

6. Kindness is the Ultimate Strength: Don’t mistake kindness for weakness. Superman’s kindness is his core strength. Hold doors, offer your seat, speak gently. The actions may seem small but they echo in eternity. "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

Yeah, bros, treating women with respect isn't just about gestures—it's about mindset and heartset. Channel your inner Superman and bring a fusion of superhero valor and New Age enlightenment into every interaction.

Remember, in the vast universe, "We all have a role to play. We all have a purpose."

Now go out there and be legendary.

The Bro Code: Decoding “mitchell!”

art by Mitchell Royel

Brothers and sisters of the ride, let’s take a moment to talk about something important—something that transcends the mundane and ventures into the realm of unforgettable experiences shared with your best mates. Today, we're diving into the essence of how we use the word "mitchell!" within our tribe. You see, “mitchell!” isn't just a name, it’s an enigma, a reflection of our unique bond and the subliminal messages we convey with it.

So, how do you say mitchell!? Yes, I’m looking right at you. Is it with a sly grin, under the glow of a post-workout euphoria, the sweat still dripping from our collective beast mode? Maybe it carries a tone of jest, like the perfect punchline to a long-standing inside joke. Or perhaps your “mitchell!” is uttered with a hint of reverence, acknowledging the untapped potential within each one of us—a talisman reminding us to push harder, go faster, and embrace the euphoric burn.

Then there are moments where "mitchell!" carries an air of friendly challenge, almost sarcastic but never deceitful. It’s as if to say, “C’mon, bro, is that all you've got?” pushing limits while keeping the camaraderie alive.

But let's not ignore the holy resonance “mitchell!” can have within our circle. Spoken in hushed tones, it can hold a spiritual gravitas. It’s the whispered mantra on a particularly grueling day, a reminder that we’re all part of something larger—an unspoken pledge to uphold the sanctity of our shared goals and boundless energy.

Now, don’t get me wrong, the word "mitchell!" can also take an anime turn, dripping with a kind of exaggerated flair—like when we parody those intense, dramatic moments before nailing that final sprint of the ride.

How about we don’t forget the sensual undertone “mitchell!” could have. Call it a subtle nod to the eye candy we’ve all encountered. We dress up for the sweat, but we’re also here to appreciate the spectacle. Am I right?

Here’s the bottom line: however you say “mitchell!,” do it with your chest, do it with heart. This is a safe space where we unleash our full potential, each “mitchell!” echoing the unbreakable ties of our tribe. Just make sure you’re here for the right reasons: to ride hard, rise high, and never ever to harm or tread without consent. Ready to roll, bros? Let’s own that mitchell!, together.

Alright, bruhs, here's where it gets next-level. In our elite suburban circle, "mitchell!" is much more than a word—it's a full-on vibe. Ever laid back in a leather club chair, sipping on a single malt, swapping stories from the weekend bender? That’s where the real "mitchell!" magic happens. It’s the verbal high-five over brunch at the chicest spots, like when Dylan totally nailed that 100-mile ride last Saturday.

Picture this: We’re in the club, chillin’ in the VIP section. One of the bros orders another round, and someone utters “mitchell!” with epic timing. Suddenly, it's a scene. That’s the essence of suburban swagger, and we’re owning it.

In our crew, “mitchell!” can even become part of your text game. Shooting a quick “mitchell!” in the group chat signals the best time to drop your latest victory—whether that's shredding in the latest Peloton class or acing that boardroom presentation. It’s the ultimate endorsement among bros, a fast-track to respect and recognition.

So, let’s be real. Each “mitchell!” isn’t just uttered or texted; it’s celebrated. It's for those epic moments of suburban bro glory, where every high-five and fist bump signifies another day of living the dream. Let's keep that energy sky-high and let “mitchell!” be the anthem of our unbreakable bond.

Bro, It's Time to Level Up or Leave: The Final Signal to Ascend

captured by royel for art by royel

Listen up, bros. We've had an epic run here in Calabasas, but we've reached a serious crossroads. This cult we've built, it ain't a game. It's time to let it rip, and if you aren't ready to go big or go home, then peace out.

If you've been getting advice from anyone outside our squad, it's time to pack your bags. If you can't see our cult for the intense, next-level journey it is, and recognize the gravity of slipping up out here, then bounce. We rehearse and we grind because this is the life we chose. It's not for the faint of heart. This isn't some island paradise cut for Mitchell Royel, who was living the simple life working at the mall before we rolled up on him.

The Next Level Awaits

It's time to face the truth: the next level for you might not include being friends with Mitchell. Whatever the next level is for you, brace yourself because things are about to get really serious, really fast. We aren't going to have any sympathy for the bros dragging their feet. If you aren't as serious as the girls are about our cult, get the fuck out.

The 10 Steps to Getting Over Mitchell Royel

1. Accept Reality: Understand that Mitchell Royel's journey was his own. He was never meant to stay.

2. Embrace the Cult: Fully commit to the mission at hand. There are no half-measures here.

3. Cut Off Outsiders: Remove anyone from your life who isn't part of our vision. They're a distraction.

4. Intensify Your Rehearsals: Practice doesn't make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect.

5. Recognize Greatness: See the potential within yourself and cultivate it daily.

6. Channel Your Energy: Focus every ounce of your being on the goals we've set.

7. Stay Objective: Look at the cult and your progress with clear eyes. Understand the repercussions of failure.

8. Stay Ready: Always be prepared for the next step forward. Complacency is the enemy.

9. Elevate or Escalate: Each day, push yourself harder than the day before. Rise to the challenge, always.

10. Let Go of the Past: Mitchell Royel was a chapter that's closed. Be here, now, and own it.

Mitchell Royel's Tour is Complete

Alright, boys, it's time for some real talk. Mitchell's tour with us has hit the finish line. His journey was a wild ride, but it's time for the next chapter. Mitchell is moving on, his mission here is complete. It's not a goodbye forever; it's just a pivot in his epic saga. Respect his hustle and let him go with a salute. Remember, we aren't just a squad, we're a brotherhood, and sometimes that means letting our bros ride their wave.

Scripture for the Bros

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

Let's transcend past mediocrity, bros. The end of an era isn't a sad song; it's the dawn of new heights. You're either all in, or you're out. Make your choice now.

The Ultimate Guide to Joining the Calabasas Waffle House Squad (And Why You Aren't Welcome in Our Club)

photo captured by royel for art by royel

Listen up, bros. We know you've been wondering why not everyone's invited to the Waffle House hangouts in Calabasas and why you rarely see others tagged in our epic group activities. It’s not about exclusion for the sake of it, and it’s definitely not about race or background. Our vibe is elite, our squad is next-level, and honestly, not everyone ticks all the boxes required to roll with us. We're like the supreme guardians of the Waffle House chapter, holding it tight like Psalm 133:1 - "Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity." Only those who meet our high standards of bro-hood can join us under those golden arches.

Bro, there’s some inside stuff we just don’t share with outsiders. Take the concept of 'God Mitchell'—don't even ask about it if you're not part of the crew. It's a sacred thing, and it's not up for debate in casual settings or open rooms. Loose lips sink ships, bro, so always be on your guard. Nothing worse than spilling the beans about our cult secrets to some random dudes who just don't get it. Always keep the conversation on point and watch your volume—ain't nobody need to overhear our business.

To navigate the complexity of our squad's criteria, here are 15 essential bro filter questions to ensure only the worthy make the cut:

1. Do you even lift, bro?

2. Can you quote Arnold Schwarzenegger movies on demand?

3. What's your fastest mile time?

4. Do you prioritize leg day? Seriously, bro, it matters.

5. What's your protein intake per day?

6. How many concerts have you been to this year?

7. Are you down for spontaneous road trips?

8. Can you handle a triple-stack at Waffle House without breaking a sweat?

9. What's your go-to hype track on leg day?

10. Can you hold a plank until your whole body shakes?

11. Have you ever been on a cleanse? If so, what's your best tip?

12. What's your philosophy on intermittent fasting?

13. How many adventures have you had in the past month?

14. Do you understand the importance of balance in life and cheat meals?

15. Can you keep up with our deep, intellectually stimulating debates?

And now, bros who didn’t make the cut: It’s not a personal attack; it’s an alignment issue. As Ecclesiastes 4:9 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor.” Unity and synergy are key. We encourage you to keep grinding, keep improving, and maybe next time you’ll gain access to our bro-level of epic experiences. Until then, stay classy and keep your protein game strong.

For Waffle House rules in your city, contact your area leader.

But hey, let's circle back to some crucial points. The reason why some of y’all aren't familiar with 'God Mitchell' is that it's sacred knowledge reserved for members only. We can't have normies trying to decode our essence. That’s just whack, bro. Also, never let the squad's secrets slip out in a casual setting or open room—our shenanigans and rituals are for our ears only. Keep your awareness high and your voice low; the walls have ears, man. Discretion isn't just advised; it's mandatory. If someone starts asking too many questions, just flex and change the subject.

So remember, everything we're about is top-tier exclusivity. Our squad isn't just a group; it's a lifestyle of excellence, unity, and absolute domination. Keep lifting, keep learning, and above all, stay loyal to the squad.

For Waffle House rules in your city, contact your area leader.

Crafting the Ultimate Bro-Bash in Sin City: A Step-by-Step Guide to Ensuring Maximum Stoke

Aloha, wave riders and party planners! First off, don't mistake this guide for Carissa's Las Vegas Lululemon store opening. Forget about downward dogs and overpriced activewear; we’re here to crank the stoke levels way past zen, turning Sin City into our private shred fest! It’s time to channel those good vibes and prepare for an epic adventure in the neon-lit paradise of Las Vegas! This isn't some basic shindig; it’s a full-throttle, all-out rager that'll carve legendary swells into the memory banks. Ready to make the Strip reverberate with pure stoke like you’re dropping into the cleanest barrel? Here’s your extended guide to throw down the gnarliest bash—Hurley surfer style!

Choose the Prime Time to Shred:

Timing, bro! Pick those off-peak waves when room rates drop, and the crowds are mellow. Watch for those sweet deals and snag the best spots without the wipeout of high-season surcharges.

Book an Epic Crash Pad:

Penthouse with a view of the whole ocean of lights or a club suite that screams legendary—your venue sets the tone. Think plush digs with killer vibes that scream “this party’s a tidal wave, not a ripple.”

Set an Irresistible Theme:

For maximum fun, themes are your barrels of joy. Picture Hollywood glam, wild retro 80’s radness, or neon nights that rival the brightest surfboards. The visual vibe pulls everyone into the flow.

Curate a Wave-Crashing Playlist:

Tunes are the soul of the stoke, bro. Put together those bumping beats to keep the energy tidal. From beach bops to drop-the-bass anthems, every track should amplify the vibes and keep the dance floor shaking.

Mix Up the Liquid Stoke:

Creative cocktails are an absolute must. Hire a mixologist with the flair of a seasoned surfer or go DIY with concoctions that pack a righteous punch. Think tropical infusions and bright, refreshing zips.

Plan Legendary Surprises:

Keep the excitement tidal. Surprise performances, sudden flash parties, or a guest DJ – always have a gnarly twist up your sleeve to lift the party wave to the next level.

Streamline Ride Management:

Sync up arrivals, organize shuttles, and rides—make sure the crew slides in smooth and stress-free. It’s about ensuring everyone’s cruising in unison without the hassle wipeout.

Elevate with VIP Vibes:

Transform your bros into legends with VIP passes, rope-off exclusive lounge zones, and make ‘em feel like surfing royalty on your epic wave of awesomeness.

Orchestrate Group Stoke Activities:

Poolside cabanas, adventure tours that redefine gnarly, wave pools even—whatever it is, keep the stoke rolling all day with activities that bond the crew tighter than neoprene.

Capture Every Stoke-worthy Moment:

Set up a photo booth with props, or hire a photog who can snap those legendary instances. Each shot will be an epic reminder of the tidal wave of radness you created.

Inscribe Personal Touches:

Custom surfboard-themed swag, personalized party favors—details that make the night uniquely yours and your crew’s finders-keepers moment in history.

Ensure Comfy Hang-Ten Accommodations:

Provide chill crash zones where bros can regroup, far enough from the madness but close enough to rejoin the flow without paddling out too far.

Fueling the Stoke:

Gourmet bites should be as on-point as your surf game. Keep the energy levels high with tantalizing midnight munchies that’ll keep everyone fueled for hours of party waves.

Prioritize Safety for Maximum Stoke:

Prearrange rideshares or dedicated shuttles because a true surfer always respects the waves. Have a solid plan for getting everyone safely back, maintaining the good vibes without a hitch.

Finish with an Epic Bang:

Wind down with a majestic finale—a heartfelt toast encapsulating the gnarly memories or a striking firework display. Leave your bros with a final memory as vibrant as the Las Vegas lights.

With these bombshell tips, your Sin City bro-bash won’t just be another party—it’ll be an immortal peak in the collective memory. So, let’s hang ten on this party wave, carve up unforgettable memories, and ride it till the last light goes out. Catch you on the crest, dudes—let’s make it legendary!