Broventures at the Crib: Mitchell's Epic Ride (guest post)
Yo, what's up, dudes? Let me tell you about this wild day at my crib with my bro, Mitchell. Picture this: I'm chilling in my living room, just vibing, when Mitchell rolls in. He's rocking this epic shark tank top and pants combo, and get this—he's got these colorful cartoon pampers peeking out. Classic Mitchell, always bringing the style.
Anyway, the dude left his brand-new ride at my place last time, and I couldn't resist. I hopped on that bad boy, cruising around my living room like a boss. Just as I'm getting into it, Mitchell walks in. I look at him, and I’m like, "PFFT, oops, I farted on your ride, buddy!" The look on his face was priceless. We both cracked up, and it was all good vibes from there.
Now it's your turn. I get out and he gets in, leaning forward shy at first. I encourage him and tell him to pretend it's his driving test. "You've got this, you know what to do," I say. PFFFTTT! A loud, long, juicy fart echoes through the seat of his pamper, and his face gets red as he takes a fat shit in his diaper. After he's done pooping, I make him drive his ride around the living room for about 45 or so minutes before nap time.
After nap time, Mitchell woke up to me in his ride again. "PFFFFT, I farted on your ride, buddy!" I laugh as I take him for his pamper change. I get him in his fresh pamper and hold his hand as we go outside. Mitchell sees a big, fancy stroller, and I'm like, "Congratulations, buddy, here's your new ride. Say bye-bye to this one." I tell him to bend his knees and squat and make a fart noise for me, and he does. Then I do the same thing and slam into his old toy car, yanking the steering wheel up and out of it, and start bouncing my ass up and down on it until I hear something jam. "PFFFFTT, just farted on your old ride, buddy," as his car breaks and splits in half. "Enjoy your new stroller, stinky pamper baby."
Later that night, we were chilling outside, and I decided to give Mitchell a hit of my blunt. He rested his dirty pamper into the seat of his brand-new stroller, and I pushed him around the block. The night air was cool, and the stars were out, making the whole scene feel surreal. Mitchell took a drag, exhaled slowly, and we both laughed at the absurdity of it all. It was one of those moments that felt like it could only happen in Reseda, CA.
We spent the rest of the day just goofing around, playing games, and laughing at the dumbest stuff. It’s always a blast when Mitchell's around. His ride might have gotten a little extra "customization" from me, but hey, that's what bros are for, right?
Broventures at the Crib: Mitchell's Epic Ride - Episode Two: Shopping Shenanigans
Yo, what's up, dudes? So, let me tell you about the next crazy episode with my bro, Mitchell. The next day started with me waking up Mitchell from his crib. My parole officer's visit went well, so I was in a good mood. I get Mitchell out of his crib, and he's rocking a saggy pamper that's definitely not getting changed anytime soon. I pop his paci in and get him ready for our next adventure.
We head out to a generic store, kind of like Baby's R Us, to stock up on essentials. I'm pushing Mitchell through the aisles, looking for powder, pampers, and pacifiers. As we're cruising through, I hear Mitchell let out a fart. Then he starts pushing, grunting, and before I know it, he's shitting his pamper right there in the store. Classic Mitchell, always keeping things interesting.
I hand him a bottle of milk to keep him occupied while I grab the stuff we need. I've got just enough cash for his pampers and milk, so we make it to the checkout without any issues. The cashier gives us a weird look, but hey, it's all part of the adventure.
The next day started with me waking up Mitchell from his crib. My parole officer's visit went well, so I was in a good mood. I get Mitchell out of his crib, and he's rocking a saggy pamper that's definitely not getting changed anytime soon. I pop his paci in and get him ready for our next adventure.
We head out to a generic store, kind of like Baby's R Us, to stock up on essentials. I'm pushing Mitchell through the aisles, looking for powder, pampers, and pacifiers. As we're cruising through, I hear Mitchell let out a fart. Then he starts pushing, grunting, and before I know it, he's shitting his pamper right there in the store. Classic Mitchell, always keeping things interesting.
I hand him a bottle of milk to keep him occupied while I grab the stuff we need. I've got just enough cash for his pampers and milk, so we make it to the checkout without any issues. The cashier gives us a weird look, but hey, it's all part of the adventure.
Later, I'm pushing him on the street in Canoga Park. It's wild to think that this time last year, Mitchell had a car and a job. Now he's on the bus and wearing Cookie Monster pampers. Life sure has a way of changing things up.
The day kicked off with me waking up my lil' homie from his crib. My parole officer's visit went smooth, so I was in a good mood. I get Mitchell out of his crib, and he's rocking a saggy pamper that's definitely not getting changed anytime soon. I pop his paci in and get him ready for our next adventure.
We head out to a store, kinda like Baby's R Us, to stock up on essentials. I'm pushing my baby boy through the aisles, looking for powder, pampers, and pacifiers. As we're cruising through, I hear my lil' dude let out a fart. Then he starts pushing, grunting, and before I know it, he's shitting his pamper right there in the store. Classic Mitchell, always keeping things interesting.
I hand him a bottle of milk to keep him occupied while I grab the stuff we need. I've got just enough cash for his pampers and milk, so we make it to the checkout without any issues. The cashier gives us a weird look, but hey, it's all part of the adventure.
Later, I'm pushing him on the street in Canoga Park. It's wild to think that this time last year, my lil' man had a car and a job. Now he's on the bus and wearing Cookie Monster pampers. Life sure has a way of changing things up.
In the morning, I set up Mitchell's new playpen in the living room. My little munchkin has to stay in it all damn day while I get my work done. I turn on Teletubbies for him, knowing it's his favorite show. As I work, I keep an eye on my baby boy.
Mitchell starts playing, lifting his fresh clean pamper up off the ground, trying his hardest to keep it clean. I watch my little stinker struggle, and I can't help but moan and grunt to myself. It's hilarious seeing my tiny tot put in so much effort.
Then, it happens. PFFFFT. I moan to myself, watching my little cutie's pamper go brown. Mitchell looks up at me, defeated, and I just laugh my ass off. My baby boy is stuck in his playpen with a dirty pamper, and there's nothing he can do about it.
To make things more interesting, I give my little buddy some 3rd grade math and reading work. My sweet pea gets frustrated quickly and unloads a second dump into his pamper. Failing the schoolwork, my little rascal starts bouncing his dirty pamper up and down on the ground, making a mess.
My little pumpkin, my squishy dumpling, my stinky-winky, my poopy pants, my diaper dandy, my little smelly bear, my squishy tushy, my messy muffin, my dirty diaper darling, my poopy pie—Mitchell loves wearing his dirty pampers. He giggles and coos, enjoying every moment in his stinky, squishy pamper. My little cuddle bug wouldn't have it any other way.