Fragments of Reconstruction: Journey Beyond Survival

captured by royel, 2025

when i emerged from treatment, the world had transformed. weighted. altered. my body bore the marks of struggle, my spirit - once vibrant - now felt fragile and uncertain. my mother's eyes held a complex mixture of concern and hope when she spoke, her words soft but laden with meaning: "focus on your healing, mitchell."

i had promised her a novel. a testament. something to prove my worth, my survival. but healing, i would learn, isn’t about grand narratives or external validation. it’s about the quiet, brutal work of reconstruction.

what i did instead of writing that novel:

1. i learned to breathe deliberately

   • meditation became my lifeline

   • each breath a negotiation with survival

   • silence my most profound teacher

2. i reconciled with my physical self

   • yoga: a practice of radical acceptance

   • each movement a declaration of resilience

   • learning to inhabit my body without shame

3. i created without words

   • art as a language of trauma and healing

   • watercolors bleeding into raw emotional landscapes

   • expressing what language could not contain

4. i built connections with fellow survivors

   • support groups: sacred spaces of shared understanding

   • collective pain transformed into collective strength

   • realizing isolation was a choice i could unmake

5. i excavated my inner terrain

   • therapy: an archaeological dig of the soul

   • unearthing buried narratives

   • confronting the shadows i had long avoided

6. i practiced uncompromising self-compassion

   • journaling: a ritual of radical honesty

   • documenting the non-linear path of recovery

   • embracing vulnerability as strength

7. i nourished myself intentionally

   • cooking: an act of self-preservation

   • each meal a deliberate choice of care

   • nutrition as a form of resistance against destruction

8. i transformed pain into purpose

   • volunteering: converting personal struggle into collective healing

   • my experiences becoming bridges of understanding

   • recognizing that survival isn’t individual act

the novel may still emerge. but now i understand - my life is the narrative. each moment a page, each breath a sentence, each struggle a chapter of profound meaning.

to my mother, who whispered wisdom when i needed it most - i heard you. in hearing you, i found myself.

- mitchell royel